Progress report. A while back I lamented the universe’s unilateral decision to hold my weight north of 209 in some cosmic effort to rescue the Earth from, I don’t know, another Fantastic Four reboot. Well, I’ve taken matters into my own hands (er, feet). I will be 199 pounds, cosmic peril be damned.
Officially, the tale of the tape will be told after a 6 a.m. Monday weigh-in. But I can’t wait that long. As of right this moment (9:54 p.m. ET), I weight 211.2 pounds. Monday last, I weighed 216.8. If I can avoid chips and soda tonight, I suspect tomorrow morning’s bare-bottomed official tally will be right on the wire!
Will I see the south side of 210? Will the martians invade and demand that we turn over all scales, in which case we may never actually know?