You know, I haven’t been feeling particularly thankful this year. To be completely honest, the one part of the holiday season I’m really looking forward to is New Year’s Day. For me, 2016 has pretty much worn out its welcome!
I know that’s not exactly the inspirational message you expected to find in your inbox this Thanksgiving. And I’m sorry for that. I am thankful – honestly, I am deeply grateful for a great many things. In point of fact, my cup runneth way over. But I am worn out from making lemonade out of all those lemons Life keeps handing me. I’m tired of lemonade. I never really liked lemonade in the first @#$% place.
I have no right.
I am blessed with the greatest of friends, a wonderful (growing) family, and a job that allows me to be useful doing precisely what I was put on this earth to do as well as provide me tremendous flexibility and the freedom to do other things, such as participate in community theater both on stage and behind the scenes.
And yet, wallow (that’s pronounced “waller” where I’m from) and complain are all I really have a mind to do. In my defense, it’s not like I’m upset because 2016 wasn’t as awesome as it could have been. No, 2016 has been a sucky year. To date, bad days have outweighed the good by a margin of three or four to one. Yeah. It’s been that kind of year.
I don’t need a banner year. I don’t need a ton of red-letter days. I could probably make do with seven healthy days in a row. On this Thanksgiving, even as I thanked God for all of His generous blessings, I remain particularly thankful for His presence. As a friend reminded me earlier, life is hard with God – I can’t imagine it without Him.
My prayer is that it’s OK to be thankful – and still have room for other feelings. My hope is that He understands my questions and concerns, that He overlooks the doubts and accepts the gratitude untarnished.